Grabparents

I found the section on grandparents very interesting. I grew up with very little contact with any extended family and saw my grandparents only a handful of times. It wasn't until I had kids that I saw what a grandparent was supposed to be. This came from a few different situations. First and foremost I was welcomed with open arms into the kids fathers family. They are HUGE and very close! The grandmother (My childrens Great Grandmother) is a wonderful woman! She is "all up in your business" but with the best of intentions : ) She dresses as a clown and learned to make balloon animals for the Sunday school kids. She also got a job at McDonald when one of the cousins had to get a job there so he wouldn't feel lame getting a job in fast food (not sure that helped but the thought is adorable). She is kind and gentle with all the kids and yet she is strong and a force to be feared! Although I have yet to call her Grandma, even when told to by her and the rest of the family, she is the closest thing I will ever have to a grandmother and I love her dearly. Secondly my own mother was not a grandmother. My son was the first of the grand kids on our side and the first great grandchild on their fathers side. My mother is also an amazing grandmother! She is silly with my kids like I have never seen her before and they absolutely adore their Nana! She also had custody of my niece for over a year. She very selflessly gave her entire life up to care for my niece from the day she came home from the hospital. All the while she was working full time as a caregiver for the elderly. All this and shes over 50! She has a heart of gold and loves her family with every ounce. There was a section in the book about grandparents who care for their grandchildren and I would be interested to look into how this effects the grandparents psychological development as they are in a stage in life where they should be preparing for retirement not caring for children. My mother has said many times that she would do it again in a heartbeat and she truly cherished that time but it was also one of the hardest things she ever had to do. Lastly I have seen my father as a grandfather, or Papa as my kids call him. While reading the part about grandparents feeling like being a grandparent is meaningfull I couldnt help but feel sad and a bit angry. My father is anything but a good grandparent. There are so many times where I have had to step in and tell him what he was doing was inapropriate and damaging to my children. I cant leave him alone with my son for fear that he will say something rude or mean. He is great with my daughter but cant seem to manage a relationship with my 5 year old. It breaks my heart and I wish he had that feeling that being a grandparent was meaningful as talked about in the book. But he just simply doesn't. So my first two examples, the kids great grandmother, and my mother are examples of wonderful caring grandparents and the last example is a depiction of the opposite end of the spectrum.