In reading chapter one I was pleasantly
surprised at how easily I could relate the concepts to my own life! I have two
wonderful children. My son Carter is almost six and my daughter Ava is almost
two, both their birthdays are in August. It’s been amazing to watch them grow
into vibrant, very different individuals. To read about all the different ways
a person develops and "learns to be who they are" was gratifying
because the concepts were things I have wondered about many times in watching
my kids explore the world. In particular I found Erickson's theory to be
extremely accurate compared to where I feel my children are at in their
development. My son is five years old, he falls in the Initiative VS. Guilt stage.
The challenge for this stage in psychosocial development is to develop the
ability to try new things and to handle failure. Carter has always been a soft
spoken child who watched others try something first before he jumped in. I have
been really encouraging him to try new things and to get out of his bubble!
"If you never try then you may be missing out on something really fun
Carter bug" To which he always replies with a smile and a look that says
"I know mom! You tell me this all the time!" We are going to Disneyland
this weekend. Carter and I have spent many evenings looking at rides on YouTube
to gear him up for all the new things to try and explore in Disneyland! My hope
is that he will branch out and have fun without being so worried about the consequences.
I was relieved to read that this is a common thing for kids his age! As well as
is dealing with failure. This is one concept that is a little more complicated
to teach to a child I feel. When an action that my son does needs to be
corrected (IE- I scold or correct him) he gets very emotional. I have made it a
point to be very gentle and loving, but firm when I talk to him about something
that needs to be fixed but it still causes him a great deal of sadness. After
reading that this too is a part of his stage of development I think I will do
some research and see if possibly Erickson proposed healthy ways to help a
child through each stage. And then there is my headstrong, giggling little
spitfire of a daughter, Ava. She is the complete opposite of her brother in
that she is not afraid to try new things or meet new people. She is loud and
always smiling or giggling. She is in the Autonomy VS. Shame and doubt stage.
The challenge for this stage is to realize that one is an independent person
who can made decisions. Just yesterday we were at a family barbeque. Ava was
drawing with chalk outside and decided she wanted to draw on a brick ledge. My
cousin walked with her to the ledge and knelt down to hold her around the waist
as she drew. She was standing stable and the ledge wasn't large. It also
dropped to a level of grass so no real threat was posed with her standing there
alone but none the less my cousin stood with her. After about thirty seconds
Ava reached down and removed my cousin’s hand from her waist and continued to
draw. It was very purposeful and without fanfare. She just simply wanted to do
this on her own. I see her blossom as an independent toddler more and more with
each day. In writing this blog I wonder if I had encouraged independence in my
son when he was younger. Possibly I had been a little to protective of him. I
feel like this may have played a part in bringing him to his reluctance to try
new things in his current stage. I will for sure be doing some more reading on
Erickson's theory, for it to accurately place both my children in the age stage
and challenge they are currently facing brings me to believe there is some
validity to the concept. I would like to see if there are tips on how to help
children through each stage and what the common hiccups are for each stage,
with obvious special attention on the stages my two children are in now.
I am looking forward to the rest of this class, I feel that there is so much I can apply to my own life and more importantly to the care and upbringing of my children!
Hi Randi,
ReplyDeleteYour children are at fun stages of their development. Two years old in my opinion was a fun age with my daughter. In my prior life I was a pre-school and private school kindergarten teacher for more than 7 years. I loved the development of children ages two through five. They start to assert their independence and their personality starts to really play a part in how they interact with others.
For human development, especially children, they need to learn to fail and know that it is okay. The experience of failing is not a negative one if you have tried your best. Whether with a team or as an individual it is about learning how to handle a situation of not always winning the game, or anything else in life that you strive for, but do not achieve.
Erikson’s Industry vs. Inferiority: Children are developing pride in their accomplishments. They need to know that if they do not achieve something the first time, as long as they gave their best effort it is okay. As a parent, I think we are the teachers in this area, we know our children better than anyone. If failure is the outcome we need to positively reinforce their accomplishments of what they were trying to achieve. Let Carter and Eva know that it is okay to fail and that is how we learn in life no matter what our age. Enjoy your babes they grow up way too fast.
In my opinion, parenting has to be the hardest thing you will do in life. Watching your children's developing stages is both confusing and enjoyable. My oldest son is 7. He was such an easy baby and toddler. Very quiet and shy, never experienced the "terrible 2's" and I could take him anywhere without tantrums. Now that he is 7, he is definitely more outspoken, outgoing, and not afraid to push my buttons! My other son who is 8 months on the other hand, is already very different. I knew from the time I was pregnant he was going to be the opposite of my 7 year old. He was so active and never stopped moving in my belly. Now at 8 months he is getting into everything and going to be walking soon, as my other son didn't walk until 1 year old. He has quite the little attitude already and isn't afraid to show it! It's amazing and interesting how different your children can be although sharing the same genes, especially at such early ages. But more important, how incredible their little personalities shine as individuals.
ReplyDeleteI am a mother of two as well of a 15 and 12 year old and they are so different in every way. Although my kids share the same genes, my daughter is the spitting image of me from eyes, to hair and especially personality. My son on the other hand has taken after his father in everyway possible. I've always wondered why it wasn't the other way around.
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